Patience is a virtue

…And the best things in life are worth waiting for. Blah blah blah. 

What I am learning from the experience of using an egg donor is that you need lots of patience. I’m talking Zen Buddhist levels of patience. Golden Retriever patience. The egg donor experience is way more outside your control than IVF. With IVF the concern is with your body and your cycle. Using an egg donor doubles the recipe. There are a number of tests that your donor needs to complete before the process even feels like it’s moving forward. And I like when things are moving forward. I wish there was a Waze app for this egg donor journey…but alas.

Peter doesn’t get as frustrated or impatient as I do which just frustrates me even more. He’s great at letting me vent though so he gets an A+ in that department for sure. Partners need to have patience too because they are likely to hear a lot of venting. A lot of repetitive venting. So partners, please practice patience with your partners. Thank you! There are a lot of moving parts involved with this whole egg donor deal. The donor needs to go through genetic screening, medical screening, psychiatric screening and all involved need to agree on the legalities. And guess what? All of these things take time. There’s no fastrak lane. It makes sense that these things shouldn’t be rushed, but it doesn’t make it any easier.

Then there’s her cycle since at some point you both have to get on the same cycle with the help of birth control pills. The goal of this post is to just prepare anyone who is going through this journey to be patient and ask questions. Ask the agency and your doctor and his or her staff whenever you are confused about where things are in the process. They are there for you. Use them. It will take longer than you want I promise so get yourself a Golden Retriever in the meantime and embrace that virtue.

– Jenn


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