Keep your socks on
Steve Jobs liked to wear a different Miyake sweater every day and Churchill liked to conduct meetings naked. Heidi Klum carries a bag containing her baby teeth. Anytime Franz Kafka finished a story, he allowed himself to eat a whole pineapple upside down cake all by himself without sharing any with anyone else, not even a bite. 

The point here is the ritual. Wait, no, it’s the pineapple.

They say that pineapple is an implantation aid, and the rule of thumb after an embryo transfer is to cut the pineapple into 5 pieces, and eat a piece of pineapple, including the core, for five days, counting the transfer day as Day 1.

So what is it about pineapple that makes it so special? Apparently, there are indications that the bromelain in pineapple increases cervical mucous. This increase in cervical mucous can make the uterus “stickier,” which can lead to increased rates of implantation. Most of the bromelain in the pineapple is found in the core, so it is important to eat that part along with the meat.

I ate that sucker down to the core. And then I ate the core. And then I ate another one.

And I slept on my left side. And even when I couldn’t sleep on my left side I stayed on the left side.

And I didn’t eat anything cold.

And I kept my socks on even though it was 105 in the valley. I kept my socks on! You need to keep the baby house warm, they say.

And I thought happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts.

And I waited.

I don’t know if these rituals are true. It doesn’t matter so much really. When we realize that we aren’t likely to get pregnant naturally, everything gets flipped upside down anyway. Nothing makes sense and what was always supposed to be this natural path becomes a surreal journey.

So eat the pineapple. Eat that sucker down to the core and then eat the core.

– Jenn 

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