People come to our office from all walks of life, and they all have one thing in common – they want to be parents. For a variety of reasons, they have – so far – been unable to fulfill this dream. Many come to us after years of disappointing fertility treatments, numerous miscarriages and other stories of infertility and disappointment. They are desperate for a baby to join their family and to share their loving.
Their bodies have failed them in one way or another and their challenges range widely. From the woman in her 30s who developed an auto-immune disease which doesn’t allow her to escape the steroids she relies on to keep her alive for the 9 months of gestation required, give or take a few weeks, to carry a healthy newborn. To the couple who married later in life, and want to start the family now that they have found the right partner. We get men, straight and gay, young and old, who have wanted to be fathers all their lives.
They ask questions – many, many questions. Will this work? How much will it cost? How do we know the surrogate won’t want to keep the baby herself? And then the questions they don’t ask – How am I going to explain this to my family? Will my baby love me? What if something happens to the surrogate? What if this doesn’t work? What if there are multiples? How can I ever thank/repay someone for doing this for me?
How will you know? Here are a few tips to help you clarify the answer for you.
Surrogacy is an amazing and beautiful journey. The surrogates I have worked with describe the experience of giving the gift of a child to another human being as one of the most precious experiences of their lives. The moment in the hospital when the new parents first set eyes on their newborn baby is the moment that makes the entire process worthwhile – beyond what the surrogate even imagined. And the new parents are often speechless. All the anticipation and fears and doubts melt away. What a gift to be given and to receive.